My name is Michael. I am 22 years old and live in Arlington. Growing up, my relationship with my family was not very good. In the fourth grade I started to hang out with the wrong crowd. I smoked my first cigarette and from there it kept getting worse. As a juvenile, I was arrested about seven times. It got to a point where my mom didn’t know who I was anymore. I did not care about school and all I wanted to do was get high. In total, I served time for about five years. However, this last time was very different because I gained so much, and the most precious thing was learning about OAR. Gaining this information in jail, I set up an appointment with an OAR case manager upon my release. Since that visit, everything has changed a lot for me. I did not want to keep living my life the way I was. I needed support and that’s what I have been getting at OAR. They have helped me with job links, employment, and encouragement. They gave me a mentoring team and also a great tutor. I have been out for over a year now. The relationship with my family has improved a lot. I am currently working part time and attending Northern Virginia Community College, and I could have not done this by myself. OAR has encouraged me to go back to school and kept my motivation to continue working. I am also thankful for the scholarships they have provided me with. Experiencing all this makes me want to become a counselor for young kids, so I can help them not follow the same road I once did. I want to thank OAR for all the help they have given me.
OAR was the first place that Sam turned to when looking for a job and he was very determined to find gainful employment. Living in a shelter with limited resources and a felony charge it was going to be a struggle, but Sam had a very positive and determined attitude. He possessed all the skills necessary for a maintenance position. For two and a half months we had been unsuccessful. He had put in numerous applications and had been on three interviews. OAR had helped Sam obtain his ID and provided him with new clothes for his interviews, numerous job leads, and transportation, Sam continued to put forth a great effort by meeting with employers and going to employment centers on a regular basis with no luck.
Sam came to us very down and looked like he was ready to give up. We did our best to raise his spirits with a pep-talk about how persistence pays off and that he was sure to get a break soon. Sam left the office still feeling defeated, but he promised that he would keep at it. The following week we received a phone call from Sam letting us know that he found a job with an Alexandria Hotel where he had applied when he first began his search. When we asked Sam why the manager had changed his mind, he told us that the manager had observed him getting off the metro every day looking for a job, and he was impressed with his persistence. Sam is ecstatic about his new job and not only does he have a job, but he has a job he can turn into a career.
There is an old saying defining insanity as “repeating the same behavior over and over again expecting a different result.”
For the formerly incarcerated, their “brush” with the criminal justice system is an opportunity to learn that truism. Repeating old patterns of unhealthy behaviors are not going to produce different outcomes. It is as true for us as it is for them.
Yet we as human beings very often don’t like change. It is discomforting, unsettling, and requires—well adjustments. We prefer our familiar customs, patterns and habits—even if they do not produce the desired effects.
OAR clients represent a willingness which many would find difficult. They recognize that an improved life for themselves is not going to come without change.
Change sounds easy, but it is hard work. Putting away former ways of thinking, former habits, former patterns of association and behavior requires effort.
I think our OAR clients are teaching us a valuable life lesson about change and the effort it requires.
With volunteers and staff to support their resolve, they determine that their past is not going to be the end of their story. They determine to stretch the limits of their own comfortable horizons to be different. And—catch this—they do this all the while many in society tell them you are a “bad” egg; you can’t change. To be determined to engage in the hard work of self-improvement in the face of employment barriers, social barriers, family needs, and the stigma of “felon” – now that is resilience.
Our clients not only embrace change and the hard work it requires, but also they pick themselves up time and time again when doors are closed to them and they say “that is not going to stop me.” Wow, what if we all had a good dose of that!